"What Happiness Is"

Happiness is the line of tolerance I draw.
It is not static, as stones, small, mostly, some large,
pelt against it.

The line moves as easily as the wind.
Most of my energy spent trying to hold it          
in place.

But I can’t.

Joy is a time when I am above the line.
Great food, talk, sex, good book, movie, new friend.
Reinforcing the value of our existence.  
We belong.

Sadness is a time when we are below the line.
Traffic jam, shut off phone, ill child, lost game.
Why do I deserve this pain?
What have I done wrong today?          
Or any day?

Ecstasy is joy so high I cannot see the line.
A plane risen up so high.
Depression is sadness pulled down so deeply.
Crushed by the darkness and pressure of the deep ocean.

No one can live in ecstasy.
At some point all must come down.
Rest my feet on the ground.
Lay my head on a soft pillow.

No one can live in depression.
If I can never see the line
I sink deeper and deeper into the depths.
Death becomes merciful. 

Poems are meant to rhyme.
This is not a poem.       
It’s life.
Life does not rhyme.
And happiness is what I tolerate
And where I draw the line.

(2004)